Today, DP says to me: "I just feel stupid. I know reading is hard, but its easy for some people. Why isn't it easy for me?"
I felt entirely confident in my response:
"D, remember we talked about whose responsibility it was to make sure you learned how to read? Whose job was that over the past four years?" "My teachers." "Right. and even though it's not your fault that they did not do that for you, it is your problem and we have to work hard every single day to be great readers."
And he looked at me. He didn't say anything. His fist was clenched on the carpet and his eyes were filling with tears - not the angry boy tears that I hate so much. Those are self-pitying tears. The tears in the corner of D's eyes were full of anguish that I couldn't possibly extinguish in one mini-lesson on mindset. He took a deep breath, collected his book, independent work packet, and pencils. He walked to his desk and slumped into it, more like a ragdoll than the energetic, optimistic (albeit, dramatic) student I work with twice a day, every day.
I can't read minds, but if I had to guess what D was thinking after my manifesto, I would guess he was thinking "but, still." Potentially, he was thinking "Ms. Brown, I've been working hard for weeks and it still feels really really hard." and maybe he was thinking, "What if I can't do enough?"
Today, I one hundred percent believe that we can do enough to get D prepared for college. But, today, I don't know what to say to him to make him believe it.
