I've got an itching on the tips of my fingers. I've got a boiling in the back of my brain. I've got a hunger burning inside me, cannot be denied. I've got a feeling that the Father who made us, when He was kindling the pulse in my veins, He left a tiny spark of that fire smoldering inside... The spark of creation burning bright within me. The spark of creation is blazing in my blood. A bit of the fire that lit up the stars and breathed life into the flood; the first inspiration. The spark of creation.
I see a mountain and I want to climb it. I see a river and I want to leave shore. Where there was nothing, let there be something, something made by me. There's things waiting for me to invent them; there's worlds waiting for me to explore. I am an echo of the eternal cry of let there be! The spark of creation flickering within me. The spark of creation won't let me rest at all until I discover or build or uncover a thing that I can call my celebration of the spark of creation.
The spark of creation - may it burn forever! The spark of creation. I am a keeper of the flame. We think all we want is a lifetime of leisure, each perfect day the same... endless vacation. Well, that's alright if you're a kind of crustacean, but when you're born with an imagination sooner or later you're feeling the fire get hotter and hotter.
The spark of creation.
I have never known a song that I could relate to so strongly. "What are you doing next year?" "I suppose I'll go to law school." And I suppose I will. But what I want is to create and to change and to explore and to discover and to make a difference, key word make. I think what I'm discovering is that to be a pawn in someone elses plan other than the Lord's is never going to be enough for me. There's a fire in me that I recognize from my father to be the one that makes the changes other people talk about. I need that. I want that. I think I'm called to that.
So where am I going now? I honestly have no idea. I've been praying about it, as I've said in past posts, but now that I am "done" with my law school applications, I plan to spend a lot of time looking into service opportunities for next summer, next year, the next few years. Funnily enough, I've had a ton of people say things to me like, "I see you in the Peace Corps" or "Have you looked into the Children's Defense Fund?" I think it's time for me to look more into those things. I have complete faith that God will lead me to the right thing. I know I've talked of nothing but going to New York and working in New York for years... and I still want that. But I want to do His will, and I'll get there. Eventually.
That's where I am. Nothing too exciting to report yet. I imagine those days are coming though. Otherwise, senior year has been a dream. I have the best friends and the best family (and the best football team ;)) and just the best life ever. Which makes me that much more determined to work to give other students the same opportunities that I've had. What is the purpose of being blessed if we never give anything from those blessings?
With love
<3
