Never Enough

Today I read an unbelievably insightful and honest speech given by a high school graduating senior. It was a brave statement, especially since he must have known that the speech would be publicized and that he (his person and his thoughts) would be subject to the ridicule, hatred, and general lack of respect that is commonplace in America today, particularly in an age where we can all hide behind user names and profile pictures. But if Justin intended on making the people who encounter his speech think long and hard about the state of the American educational system, he succeeded. After I read it I want to cry thinking about how dreadful the school systems are and how impossible it seems to fix them.

I wish there was something I could do. Well, I know that there must be something I can do and I'm praying about it and trying to figure out what that something can be. I've been drawn to law school because it seems true that working with the American legal system is the best and most effective way to evoke any kind of change. Eventually I want to work in education reform, but I have no idea how I'm going to get there.

The thing is... I'm no better than any of the other black girls out there. I won the genetic lottery and ended up with parents who understood how important it was for me to be educated and were willing to sacrifice for me. But I could have easily been born to a single parent household with a mother than simply didn't have time to invest in my education because she had to work two jobs. And if I were as "smart" as I was as a kid, but got dealt a bad hand, I might not be graduating this year. I might not be in school. I might be completely and totally lost in a way that those of us working on college degrees with goals and dreams and future plans do not understand. And it breaks my heart that another girl who was in the same kindergarten class that I was in might be floudering and stuggling in a world where life can be so so hard... just because her mom didn't read to her before she went to bed, so she couldn't read in 1st grade and wasn't put in RTC and was forever labeled and stigmitized as dumb.

Because we all know its the teachers that decide who is smart and who is not. I don't mean for people who have like crazy awesome IQ's or the handful of kids who honestly suffer from some kind of disorder that makes school difficult for them. I mean the rest of us. I'm pretty average. Possibly slightly above, but mostly average. But once a teacher choose the smart kids and the not-smart kids, that sticks with you for life. Partly because of self-fulfilling prophesies, and partly because the teachers will give you more attention, more help, and better feedback if you show more "potential." I hate when people say "potential" as though some people have it and some people don't. By definition, do we not all have potential?

Okay, I'm rambling now. I was just feeling so... touched by that speech and by my own mind and imagination that I needed to write about it. I'm really excited for God to show me what I can do to help the education situation.

With love,
Shelli